Episode 46: Kick Out Your Fear And Find Your Lifelong Motivation With Charlie Taylor
What does it take to find lifelong motivation? In this conversation, we have the honor of speaking with Charles “Charlie” Taylor. Charlie talks about motivation, entrepreneurship and roundhouse kicking fear in the face. Charlie has been a competitive athlete for over 20 years, earning many titles on both the national and international stage in Olympic Style Taekwondo. After his competition days, he embarked on a 10-year career in the corporate security world and climbed up the corporate ladder. He soon realized that corporate success wasn't what he wanted. Returning to his passion, Charlie now operates two CKO Kickboxing locations in Downtown Jersey City and Bayonne, NJ. Be inspired by Charlie's story and find your own motivation!
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Kick Out Your Fear And Find Your Lifelong Motivation With Charlie Taylor
What does it take to be perpetually motivated? In this conversation, we have the privilege to speak with Charlie Taylor about motivation, entrepreneurship, and roundhouse kicking fear in the face. Charlie Taylor has been a competitive athlete for many years, earning numerous titles on both the national and international stage and Olympic-style Taekwondo.
Since training under Olympian Master Kevin Padilla since 1992, Charlie has been surrounded by top-level athletes his entire career. In 2004, Charlie fought his way onto a spot on the New York State Taekwondo Commission, an organization designed to mentor and sponsor top athletes for international competition. Here, Charlie competed in numerous countries representing New York-USA during his bouts. Since his arrival to NYSTC, he defended his spot on the team throughout the remainder of his career as a fighter.
Simultaneously, Charlie served as an instructor at Padilla’s Sport Taekwondo School, where he taught traditional and Olympic Taekwondo, cardio kickboxing, boxing and mentored several junior elite athletes. While there, he developed a love for coaching and it formed into a unique style drawing from years of training applying his fighter’s mentality. After a ten-year career in the corporate security world, he returned to his passion.
Based in the New York Metro area, Charlie is the Owner-Operator of two CKO Kickboxing Clubs located in Bayonne and Downtown Jersey City. Charlie wears several hats but his favorite hat is of a fitness coach and motivator. Charlie has fun but no-nonsense approach to supporting his members’ goals. Whether you are aiming to improve your striking technique, build lean muscle or improve your overall wellness, Charlie can certainly get you there. Charlie tries to instill a fighter’s mentality within all of his clients. Whether you are in the ring or not, if you refuse to quit on yourself and continue in the fight, there is no limit to what you can achieve. He lives in Jersey City with this pitbull, Big Guy.
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We got Charlie Taylor of CKO Kickboxing. We are in for a very special treat. It is great to have you on. The last time we spoke was right at the start of the pandemic in 2020 and a lot has happened since then. I’m excited because we only had fifteen minutes to talk last time. Now, we have a little bit more time than that. I want to see where you are focusing your energy but before we dive into that, let’s ask you the most important question. What does living a limitless life mean to you?
“Living a limitless life is living your truth. It’s living your purpose.”
Living a limitless life to me is living your truth like living your purpose. There is a saying like, “If the ghosts were around you, the ghost of your past and future are watching in your deathbed saying, ‘We are what you could have become.’” The people’s biggest fear is regretting. It is like, “I wish I would have done this and that.”
Living a limitless life for me is not letting any stone go unturned. Any avenue and opportunity are chasing it down. That is what I feel everyone should be pursuing is. It is living your best potential in any way, shape, or form. They can adapt and transform. As long as you are giving 100% of yourself, that is what is limitless to me and what I try to pursue.
That is one of the things I admire most about you. It is almost like you have a relentless passion for living life and being yourself with authenticity. A lot of people hold back but you are fully you all the time.
Yes, I am. We are in a room for a bachelor party and swimming. They are all talking about secrets that people they keep. They look at me and go, “Charlie, you are an open book. There is nothing to say about you.” I’m like, “Anything you want to know, it is right here.”
Let’s get into your background a little bit about the experience that formed you into who you are.
It is a culmination of it. It all coalesced into what I am, the bedrock of who I am started in martial arts. From 1995 up until 2006, I was competing and training in Olympic-style taekwondo. It was right here in Hoboken with Olympian World Champion and former president of our union, Master Kevin J. Padilla. He was my instructor for a very long time. He is a great mentor. He taught me a lot of things that leaped into other assets of my life. I have been fortunate enough that I have been able to excel in many things that I do. I feel like it is all because of that bedrock being six years old, having to stand up in front of adults, go over a book report and say, “My name is Charles and this is what I do.”
“Changing your mindset is just putting in the work over and over again, then eventually it’ll manifest itself.”
I’m uniquely myself because I have always had to express myself whether I’m doing this and in front of people. Being yourself comes so easy to me and putting it out there. Martial arts gave me a huge leg up on a lot of my peers, as far as having a champion mindset. My instructor would always say, “There are two types of people. Some walk over the piece of paper and those who pick up the piece of paper.” It sounds like such a simple concept but it is the truth. You walk past a project and go, “I will do that later.” You are the person who walks over it. You see your dishes filled and you are like, “I will do it later.” That is walking over it, and I try to always pick up that piece of paper.
My instructor is a huge part of my life. I stopped competing in 2006. After that, I tried to pursue a professional career. Throughout that time, there were many mentors in my life, from vice presidents to regional directors. I was in loss prevention and did that for about eleven years. In my last position, I was the Head of Security in JC Penny and Manhattan Mall. I had a great time. There are many people I learned from there, mentor-wise. Being an entrepreneur, sometimes you have the mentors yourself.
You have seen a lot of motivation coming out of me. A lot of my staff and clients go by me like, “You are always listening to motivation.” Who do you think motivates the motivator? I’m supposed to motivate everyone and give it to all people. I look at Zig Ziglar. I’m online all the time looking at people to give me motivation. I’m listening to the Outliers Audible book, trying to educate myself. That is the quick background of me and the people who influenced my life, but majorly, it has always been my instructor. If I see him in the streets, I drop everything, bow to my waistline and give respect. That is a relationship that everybody should have, not to that extreme, but someone who you look up to and respect.
That is the one thing I noticed about martial artists and my friends that are into martial arts. They are so disciplined. They have and know their purpose. There is no hesitation in how they go about their daily life. They know what they want to achieve. They go after it and do it with a certain grace because martial arts is like a dance. You have to be very coordinated in your body movement, efficient in the way that you move your body, as well as your mind, your progression on how you get to places, and things like that.
Lifelong Motivation: As long as you give a hundred per cent of yourself, that's limitless. That's what we try to pursue.
One of my favorite quotes is, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” That is very similar to what your instructor taught you. If you have a lapse in integrity in one little area, it is going to show up in many places in your life. People who think that they can fool themselves or fool others by acting a certain way but they are not doing the work on the other side are always going to get caught. If not, by other people, their consciousness is going to catch up to them.
There is a point up when I was a little harsher, more direct, and candid. I was like, “I want to be nicer. How do I be nicer?” It stuck to me. It is like, “You can’t say you want to be nice. You have to do the act of being nice consistently all the time and then it flows.” I was like, “It is like everything else like momentum, consistency, and practice.” Changing that mindset is putting into the work over and over again. Eventually, it will become itself, almost like manifesting itself. That is something I’m doing with meditation. I feel like with the COVID drop-off during 2020 and 2021, it was so hard to get out of business and come back up.
I got thrown off my path as well as my routine and the things that I did. I committed to myself in 2022 that I’m going back to what I used to do, waking up at 4:30 in the morning, taking cold showers, meditating, and getting back into a routine. I feel like many of us have lost in those two years of chaos. I feel good and I’m grateful that we have made it back. I’m able to reintegrate myself into who Charles is.
Take us back to 2020. Both of our businesses were shut down and at that time, we were riding high in 2019. Everything was going great. We were very lucky because both of us have businesses where we can live our purpose and passion. We are interacting with amazing people who are coming in because they appreciate what you do and offer. There is a beautiful symbiotic relationship that way, then 2020 hit. We had this conversation where both of our businesses were shut down. We had to scramble and adapt. You talked a little bit about adapting or dying during that time. Tell us what was going on in 2020 for you. How had you got through that?
On a personal side, that is one thing. It was complete chaos in my mind, but professionally, we did have to adapt. I had to figure Zoom out. I listen to a whole podcast on what I said less than an issue. I had to learn everything off the cuff. I did and I’m grateful that I have such an amazing team of people around me that are able to support me. I was able to delegate some things I could not able to figure out.
I truly believe as a community that we pulled ourselves out the way we are. We act with integrity and ensure that all our members are taken care of. We all had a financial loss but when I sent the last bucket, it was like, “We will see if we come out of this standing,” and we have and I feel like it is a testament to the relationships we create here. We are not just a gym where you come to lose weight. It is a church and a community. It is like you come here and feel happy.
Even if you are off your fitness goals and not achieving what you want to achieve, coming to a place where you feel accepted and want them happy is where a lot of people come. I’m so glad that my team has been able to consistently deliver, and our community felt that. On a professional side, we are back in action. We are doing things. People are coming in their leisure and how they feel comfortable with masks or without masks. That is all up to them. I’m glad that they choose CKO to be a part of it.
Personally and I’m sure with everybody, it is about being isolated. I lived at that time in a studio by myself and my dog. I can’t talk. That was very hard on me emotionally and spiritually not being outside. No matter how many supplements I take, I always have to be the motivator so I’m pumping out. As soon as it was done, I would feel dumb and I was like, “What are we going to do? Let’s go hang out and drink.” It was like a cycle of hanging out, drinking, sleeping late, do not working because work is so minimal that I was like, “2020, let me enjoy this time.”
That is slowly spiraling into the bad habit loops. It became prevalent in the mid-‘20 and ‘21. There were some good things. In isolation, I was able to self-reflect and pull some things out that I was not able to address being so busy, which was good and beneficial. It was like cleaning out the closet. There was so much crap I had to get out. Towards the end of rebuilding everything, getting back with the gym, feeling more safe and secure, I feel like that craziness has gone away, and I’m able to get back on the path.
I hopped back on it. I have always told the people in the gym that fitness is circular. It is not linear. You got to get on and off the wheel. It is about momentum. Keep doing it and you will keep rolling. Do not see it as a straight line and you are done forever. It is the same thing with how I felt emotionally. It all comes to the waves and I was able to adjust them. We are back on the path that I want to be on.
There is no straight-line path to success. You are going to be all over the place. From the Earth to the moon, when the rockets go all the way to the moon, they ask people, “What do you think the percentage is of time that they are on a straight path?” People are like, “It is 90%.” They are like, “No, it is 3% where they are going this way. They have to adjust and go this way.” That is what life is all about. 2020 for me was a time of great reflection. I never had that time off like three months when we were off in the business. I was getting into meditation and spending time by myself. I started a new relationship at that time.
It motivated me to do more and more and see how I can offer more value to my client. I started that small show that grew into this show. You, at that time, were doing a lot of online courses, something that you had never done before. It is learning how to do new things. How can we present ourselves in a way that people can gain value from? It is amazing because everyone was going through crap personally. It was a hard time. There was a lot of uncertainty. You did not know how crazy this virus was, but over the years, we have to figure out how to adapt. I was traveling in Florida and it does not exist there. Everybody has their lives.
We have a lot of intelligent and very highly educated people here in our area in Jersey City but it is a little bit divided here where you have a lot of people living in fear and people not living in fear. As a business owner, how do you work with the people that have a lot of fear and apprehension about coming back in? With the people that are not living in fear, it is a lot easier to deal with them, but how do you mix and match the two groups? You have a place where people are working out together. My services are all individual-based or on their own.
There is a couple of things. What I envy people like you for is I need people. People are my life battery. If I’m isolated, my battery goes down. You were able to do meditation and self-reflection. Mine was a little more chaotic than that. When I come back here, I feel like I am holding myself. Why do you feel like you possess it? Are you introverted or extroverted? You had no time off but at that time, why did you self-reflect so much?
It is weird to even say but in a way, I felt good to have a little bit of time off because I was always on the go for so long. Growing up as a younger person into my 20s, even into my early 30s, I was much of an introvert. I’m even more extroverted. I love people. That is my lifeblood like you. I generate off of that. Great conversations are way more than any success that I could have personally. When you share it with other people and you feel the love between two souls interacting, that is my lifeblood.
Lifelong Motivation: Fitness is circular. It's not linear. You have to get on and off the wheel. It's about momentum.
What we do is not carved in stone monuments but woven into the lives of others.
My real wealth in life is having the most loving family, amazing friends, and an incredible girlfriend. I got a new little puppy too. Going back to that, I felt like it was a very spiritual time because there was so much craziness going on. You saw the news footage of people dropping dead on the streets, which was all the fucking propaganda. At the same time, it is like, “How could I be the eye of the storm, right in the middle, and not being the one who is going crazy, freaking out and all this stuff?” When I start my business, if I’m not that way, then other people are going to feed off of my fear of my employees, the people around me, my community members, and all that stuff.
That makes it a little more central to what your business is. You are healing internally. Whereas with me, I have such a habit of putting a mask on. No matter how I feel, when I come in, it is showtime. I did that so often that there was no reflection. When it was time to be isolated, I was like, “There is no one here. There is no mask.” I will tell you how to come back to home life.
I have got the fear mindset. Honestly, the way I have dealt with it is dealing with it and not dealing with it, which might seem weird. People are scared to come for fitness in general. We always want to make you feel comfortable coming here. When they come into the gym, it is always about you are on your bag, going at your own pace and which instructor-led all beginner levels. It does not matter if you are advanced or not advanced. We have always given people some peace of mind when they come here. I always deliver on that.
In addition, I let them know the measures we take in place as far as our cleaning. We used to have 4 classes a night and then we only had 3 because of 30 minutes gaps in between to be fully sanitized. We have a team that wipes everything down. Giving the visual presence of cleaning has helped as well. We are in a new facility. We have a bunch of new HVAC systems and cleaner systems, and those do a great job of walling people’s anxiety. At the end of the day, it is on you. It is how you are going to interact with that fear. I was, at one time, terrified. I remember on the news like, “It was a 31-year-old baseball coach, Don Goldman.”
I was like, “No, I’m 33. I’m going to go next.” I understand what that fear felt like. On my own, I’m doing research, listening, watching, and taking care of myself quelled the way the news spiraled. To help others has been demonstrating what we do here. We are safe and separated. In the thousands of clauses that we have had, there have been no outbreaks. This is about it. There is nothing more I can do for people in that sense to make them feel better other than giving them every parameter, showing them we are here to help them, listen and care for them. It was frustrating on a business end, people canceling and saying, “It is not safe.”
Despite how many cases we have had, we have members who have been here for years, not want to come anymore. We have had brand-new people walk in, so it is a mixed bag. You are free to exercise your choice and I’m here to help you. When you are ready to return, we are here for you. The fear of mine says all I can do.
What I do is I try to pump people positive energy and it somehow translates into your life, however is beneficial. That is why always on my Instagram, that is usually my messages like, “Let’s go and do it. Do not make any excuses.” That is my form of motivation. Hopefully, our members see that and get something from that, but that is all I can do. I feel like you have to pull yourself out of your fear.
It is working with them with compassion. We can be like, “I’m not fearful. Why are you fearful?” Look at how many people are living their lives.
It is all barking back and forth in the news and with our political parties. I’m like, “This is for a reason. You can do whatever you like, masks, no masks, stand here or go in the back.” There is no like, “I’m not here to judge your choices. I’m here to give you a place to live your best life, work out and have fun.”
That is dealing with other people. What about yourself? When you run into fear, how do you tackle it if you had to be completely ruthless with yourself in terms of that? We are good at advising other people. When it comes to ourselves, it is a little bit different and I feel the same way. I will tell you a little bit about how I got through it.
It was not listening to my bullshit because I do it to myself too. I’m like, “I work a lot. I’m a busy guy. I’m not going to do this.” Fear did not attack me. I was scared of the virus in the beginning but it was not fear. I do not want to say it was anything with fear. I was confident we were going to come back. Maybe what I was concerned with was my routine, my self-health, and getting back on my routine. I do not feel like I have a fear of mine. It might be ego-driven and that is probably okay.
I’m comparing myself to Prince Fujita. I believe in myself. Whenever I’m feeling fearful and I’m not going to make it, I look at myself in the mirror and remind myself of all of the things I have accomplished and done at such a young age and how I have pushed through it and been successful. Remind me like, “You are the great one.” I will fluff myself up with as much flow as I need to but that always makes me feel good.
“You are not a normal person, Charlie. You are above average. You need to go out there, continue to prove it, and show all those that they can be above average too.” That is how I push myself the same way I’m trying to push others. It is a river flowing right back to you. That is what I do when I’m feeling fearful. I remind myself who I am, what I have accomplished, and what my purpose is.
When I am feeling the most abundant, inflow and everything like that, fear does not even creep into my mind. I realize when I’m in abundance, everything is existing and possible. Fear is like this little speck of thing that does not affect me at all. When I like to dwell on something, and I’m like, “This is bothering me,” I break it down. Say you had a bad interaction with somebody, I’m like, “What is this interaction about? Is it about your ego? Not feeling like you said what you wanted to say? Is it about not being liked?”
Lifelong Motivation: You're not a normal person. You are above average. You need to go out there and continue to prove it and show all those that they can be above average.
I keep breaking it down to the ultimate, the smallest little particle. Is it about fear or love? Is it about lack of love? When you bring it down, it all comes down to those two emotions, fear, and love. It is about fear. Which one do you want to choose? You have the opportunity to choose fear or the loving route. Where do you want to take it? Everything boils down to that one decision.
I’m in a relationship and very happy. I was talking about my routine and everything. She was like, “Why don’t you want to get back to the routine?” I said, “I’m scared of that, Charlie.” She is like, “What do you mean?” I’m like, “I know that, Charlie.” I’m used to waking up at 9:00 AM, stretching and relaxing. That Charlie is going to wake up at 4:00 AM and it would be nonstop all day. If I start that engine, it is going to be a freight train. I’m not going to stop. I was scared because I knew once I did it, the fun I was telling myself was okay was going to be over, which is over now. It is about getting myself back in that routine because once I’m committed, it is tunnel vision. It is no stopping.
Let’s get into your morning routine. You have been posting a lot about that. What do you do to get started in the day?
The first thing I do is I wake up at around 5:00 AM. My first clients are always at 7:00 AM. When the business started to pick up, I was still on this waking up at the last-minute thing. I’m rushing to the appointment, coming here and going, “Let’s start your session.” I was not giving 100%. I was like, “You need to get back to your routine as far as waking up early and recentering yourself.”
What I do is I wake up, take my phone with me and listen to the same morning motivational podcasts right in the shower. I take about ten minutes of a nice medium, hot, warm shower. Every session every week, I have been trying to increase it by a few seconds, which is a cold shower. I slowly bring it down and take a cold shower. After the cold shower, I brush my hair and all that stuff. I go into the kitchen and make myself a coffee.
Before I have coffee, I have a bunch of tinctures like lion’s mane, chaga, Vitamin C, and Vitamin D. At the same time, I’m still listening to the motivation. Once I was done with that, I had my coffee. When I have my coffee, I listen to whatever book I’m listening to. I do that for about twenty minutes in the kitchen, refocusing my purpose of the day. What are you going to accomplish during that ship straight? It has been incorporating meditation.
I have been a martial artist my whole life and meditation has never been fun for me. I never liked it. I always say, “I do active meditation, a mindless thoughtless resolution,” which is BS because it is a way for me physically to express my ADHD energy and deplete it versus sitting down and centering my thoughts. I feel like that has been the same way we talked about. If you do not have integrity in this area, it leaks over. My lack of patience, mentally being able to sit down and do something has gone far beyond because I’m always moving into the gym.
I have not been able to take away and think about my thoughts. It has been back to meditation. I started 4 minutes and then 8 minutes. Ten minutes is when I was very upset with myself. That shows me I’m getting better at slowly letting my thoughts whiz by relaxing. For me, physically expressing who I am to sit down is difficult. Doing that, have I seen benefits yet? Not yet but with anything, it takes time and consistency.
I do feel like once that client walks in, I have been up for an hour and a half listening with coffee. I have meditated. They are getting the best version of me. If I’m standing there and asking them to give me the best version, I can’t be over here walking in 10 minutes, 2 minutes late with boogers on my eyes trying to lift that. I have to walk the walk. I looked at some of the men. I’m like, “What are you doing? You can’t be halfway. You got to be full, Charlie.” That is my morning routine. The other thing I want to add to it is it is like resetting by 1-year, 3-year, 5-year, or 10-year goals. That is mostly where I’m at.
You talked to a lot of people in your career about consistency, building new habits, and the mental aspect of it. Every time you do these things, every single day, it is building those muscles of, “It is going to become easier to wake up at 5:00 in the morning and meditate each time. I made it past 8 minutes but now it is in 10 minutes.” All you got to do is start somewhere. That is all it is.
A lot of behavioral, developmental people say that if you do a habit for 21 days straight, it becomes ingrained. If you can do it six months straight, you can make lifelong habits. You won’t go back to your old place. Much of this game of life is about the mind and the conversations you have with yourself and not like letting yourself slip. It is easy to do but it is also damaging in the long-term.
I was doing it that way and being consistent. I’m like, “I reward myself because I reward myself.” I got to find that trend. I stand there. Even though I am doing it, my purpose is to cut that cycle enough of the same habit loops I have been doing to reward myself. You do reward yourself with the process. Your reward is the continued work of it.
Be grateful for where you are. You have to look at the milestones in your life where you were a couple of months ago and where you are at the present. There is probably a huge difference from when you started changing those habits. It is being kind to yourself and making sure you are doing the right things but also talking to yourself in a good way. You listen to motivational stuff. It is not like lip service. A lot of people listen to that stuff but mentally, they are talking to themselves the wrong way. It is about believing that.
I never liked motivational speeches. I used to think that people who need to read are these old Charlies. “You need a motivational book to motive yourself.” I thought that was weak-minded. I started finding purpose in it because I give so much to people that I was depleted of my motivation. They are like, “Have a sandwich.”
That was hard for me. Listening to constant affirmation to speak about it sounds silly. This first 10 seconds or 20 seconds you wake up, the first thing I hear is, “You can do it. Let’s go.” I’m like, “I’m so much better than I was before.” It sounds silly but it does go a long way. It helps me. I’m sure my girlfriend is tired of hearing that every morning at 5:00 AM in the bathroom.
Lifelong Motivation: Whatever you can do, just do it and stop telling yourself silly excuses.
I have never felt better after doing cold showers or cold plunges. It does something to that body where it wakes you up feeling energized. You are so present in the moment. You are not thinking about the past or the future. You are thinking about, “How can I warm myself up if I freeze to death?
The hardest is my breathing. I’m trying hard to calm my breathing. I have a tub and it hits your head and then your chest. It is hard to get the whole cold on you.
I find it is a little bit easier. I will sit like and do cat-cow on my knees. I’m getting my hand and back. If I look up, it is getting to the front part of my body. That is what I do. It is a little bit easier to sit for some reason rather than stand for me when I’m doing the cold showers.
I’m moving around and trying to stand still. It has been great. It is about the benefits but it is more so getting out of my comfort zone. That is what’s happening in the past years. There was so much comfort like sleeping in and eating whatever I wanted. I forgot the relationship and the meaningfulness of being uncomfortable and building those mental callouses of doing shit you do not want to do, not because you do not want to do it but because you need to do it. That is on the agenda. When I said 5 miles, I’m running 5 miles. When I said I want to take a cold shower, I’m taking a cold shower. I did not get here to comfort a guy who struggled. His best years were nice but it is back to struggle.
I have never regretted taking myself out of my comfort zone. I have always been better on the other side. We think, “This is not something for me.” No, get into it. You can decide afterwards whether you like it or not, but getting out of your comfort zone is where the real magic in life is. What is the most important lesson that you have learned from the last couple of years, professionally and personally?
Having a habit and not taking things for granted. We both thought we were all this high in 2019. Our business was super successful. After these past years, there have been so many friends that other business owners we know are not able to make it. I’m being grateful on what I have. You are not taking any of that for granted because they can be taken away at any moment, living each day to your fullest and appreciating those around you.
“Live each day to your fullest and appreciate those around you and don’t take anything for granted.”
The final couple of questions I have for you is, why do you think you came here to planet Earth as Charlie Taylor? What did you want to experience?
I do not know what that Charlie Taylor wants to experience. I feel like why I’m here is we all have our purpose. I have no qualms with being 1,000% who I am. I feel like the gift I have been given is to give that gift to others. Through demonstration or conversation, however, it may reflect on them. This has to be you. Be 100% yourself, believe in the things that you can do, and do not doubt yourself because the difference between you and a CEO is they did it. That is it. They took the steps.
We go all at the same time and have the same abilities. Some of our cognitive skills are different but when you can’t do a talent, you can make up with effort. With my friends, I have a no BS attitude. Sometimes it comes off as too candid and direct, which I completely understand but that is how I am. I do not want anyone to question who they are or question what you can or can’t do. You are you. You can do what you want to do. Who says no? Who says yes? It is up to you. If that was the reason I came here, that is my reason.
We are all handed different cards at the start of life but at the end of the day, an effort is always our ace card. We always have that and can go by that. Regardless of where we are, we are only competing with ourselves.
It sounds a little cliche. When you go through all the other trials of life, you figure it is. It is all about a mirror test. It is all about you. If you are not getting better, then what is the point? Whoever you are comparing yourself to may fall awry, but it is all comparing to you.
What is success too? A lot of people define it in different ways. A lot of people are like, “Once I make $1 million or if I have this or that.” Some people look at the material ways, the depth and quality of their relationships, health and the way that they communicate with themselves. Some people want to go to the beach, relax and chill there every day and see the sunset and sunrise. Everybody defines it differently. It is not about looking at what other people have but focusing on what makes you happy internally, then going out and spreading that to other people.
Competition trade some progress. You could look at other people but do not do it with hatred or malice. Do it with ambition and drive. There is another flame in the room that does not take away from their fire. You can unite those flames. It is good to see, “I want to be as successful as that person,” but do it on your terms in your way without trying to pull the people down. That happens a lot, especially people are trying to pull each other down to be successful. It is not being right. It is being first. That needs to be washed away hopefully within the next few years because that is not a good way to proceed.
“If you want to be as successful as another person, do it on your own terms, in your own way, without trying to pull other people down.”
You posted something on your Instagram but you got a little bit of hate on that.
I did that on purpose and not to show anybody off but it showed what a blind comment that was because it did not make any sense and you are attacking me for no reason. If you were to talk to my team, I always ask their opinion on things. I’m never sure. In my life growing up, I have taken my blinders off and needed other people’s opinions. I did it in a way. I was not curious. I posted because everyone was talking back about it but we are in an age where people do not read anymore.
Lifelong Motivation: Some people believe in different things and some people have different motivations. So just be understanding, be open-minded and you'll find your own way to that spirituality.
You are not looking at the messages. It is response and fear-based. Maybe he felt that the motivational speaker was saying loser. Maybe I was saying it or sometimes someone in their life called him a loser resonated with them. I’m sorry about that. That was not the message. It was about whatever you can do, do it and stop telling yourself silly excuses.
A lot of people would look at soundbites or they define you if you are wearing a mask or not wearing a mask. When we started doing that to other people, it is the way that this whole divide was created to separate us from each other, making some people hate other people. It makes no sense if we want a united and loving society that all works to help build each other up rather than tearing each other down.
You come from a place of trying to motivate people and motivating yourself to get better in sharing that. People look at that and be like, “I hate you for that.” People have to look into themselves as to why that trigger happens. Maybe they were offended by their lack of having the motivational ability or they have been triggered in the past by somebody who says something similar but it was not you.
I used to react very harshly. I look at him and go, “I wonder what it is that it offended you.” I wonder if it is me or it is something you went through but I’m in maturity. I have learned to live with these things. I’m like, “It is good I have been in customer service once and get so many people to come up to you.” When they start barking at you, it is not them barking at you.
It is them barking at all the things that will have happened behind them. They are giving it to you constantly, in repetition and practice. “Are you in deescalating?” That is what helped me deescalate, especially around here where some people wear a mask and do not wear a mask. There is no judgment here. I’m going to judge you on how will you punch and kick? That is it.
I’m guilty of getting upset or triggered and fighting back, whatever it is. I attempt to look at them as a child version of themselves. We never know what they went through growing up and whatever happens to them, into their adulthood, the interactions they have had to make them the way that they are.
That is not who they are. It is certain actions that they have taken. If they come to me in a certain way, I have to understand that that was a certain action. I’m sure they are a loving person. We are all children of God, trying to understand them and send them love. You do not have to interact with them or be around them. Just knowing that it is probably what it was not their best day.
Typically, after they get it out and you will respond in such a calm voice and interaction that brings them down to, “I do not have the response. Have a great day. Enjoy your stay.” Know when they kick the bag. I want to say, “Thank you. I was in a bad mood.” I’m like, “No problem. I hope you enjoy life.” It is not taking things personally because some people blow off like that. It happens and it is perfectly okay and not a problem.
Some people ask me, “We will fix that but that is not my place. I’m here trying to be a beacon of hope, help you out, get you to class and get that stress out.” I love kickboxing. There are all different types of cardio but if you need to get stressed out, for me, there is no better way than slamming your fists and feet into a bag for an hour and getting it all out, then you will feel great.
I bet the endorphin rush is incredible. I have taken a couple of classes. I have not done any of your classes yet but I always feel great.
You have not experienced that endorphin rush yet.
That is next on my list. Thank you so much for coming on. What does God or spirituality mean to you? What role does it play in your life, if any?
“Don’t do things with hatred. Don’t do it with malice. Do it with ambition and drive”
I grew up Catholic. We have got Christians in our family. I’m not practicing any organized religion but I do not have a definition for spirituality because I appreciate all different society’s views of seeing spirituality. In my home, I have a library on the wall, all opposing religions. I got Buddha, Pentagram, and crystals. I do not believe any of those things but I do enjoy reading how people view the world and what they feel spirituality is. I try to take different ideas, cherry-pick from them and figure out what is because we are all trying to find the right path and spirituality. There is that gap.
You are missing that field. I can’t describe it but for me, I find spirituality as being with humans. Human compassion, being around my friends and family. That is where I feel the most connected spiritually as a whole. Your meditation does it for me, connecting that way spiritually. I take the life lessons from gurus and all the different people that I read and heard. These are all during different aspects of life. I find that spirituality is trying to live in those best ways, trying to figure out how to use those ideologies and adapt to my situation or my being and how I feel. There is not one point of spirituality.
I love people and that is why I feel the most whole. When I’m in a room interacting with people, I feel the best when someone looks at me and goes, “I do not believe they can do that.” I’m like, “You did it.” If that is a form of spirituality, hallelujah to that, that is what I get the most from. That is my high. Watching people find who they are right in front of your eyes like, “You did it.” I’m like, “I did it.” It is a mixed answer for spirituality. I’m still on that rule of figuring out what that is but that is what it is to me. I’m a learner. I love to listen to different podcasts and Audible books, read about different ways that people perceive the world, and choose from there.
There is no right or wrong way to spiritually. There are so many paths. Everybody I ask has a different viewpoint. It is all about finding what resonates most with your heart and how you want to progress. The fact that you are open-minded. That is the first step in it. Once we think there is only one path to our spirituality or God, we are closed off to infinite nature because if God is infinite, why are we trying to define it from this lens?
I do not know what is right or wrong. Rogan says, “I’m a rock spinning around a firewall curling through infinity.” I do not know what is right or wrong. I do not judge those who have different perspectives. I love it on my own. It is interesting. I see how it applies to my life, and some things are beneficial. Some things are nonsense but that is the way it is. What you say is being open-minded. Take everything with a grain of salt, listen to it, and that is it. Do not judge us because some people believe in different things and some people have different motivations. Be understanding, open-minded and you will find your way to that spirituality.
How can we learn more about you?
You can come to the gym and talk to me. I love talking to a person. We are here at CKO Jersey City. You can always stop by the gym. If you want to learn more about me personally, you can go to CharlieKOFitness.com, read about my background and my fight career. On my Instagram, I do kickboxing tips and motivation. I post funny videos. It is @Charlie.KO. Those are the three ways you can get in contact with me. Email is on my Instagram and all that stuff. If you want to shoot me an email, have a combo, and do some further training, we can do that as well.
Thank you so much for coming on. I will see you at a kickboxing class.
I’m going to hold you to that.
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About Charlie Taylor
Charlie Taylor has been a competitive athlete for over 20 years, earning numerous titles on both the national and international stage in Olympic Style Taekwondo. Since training under Olympian, Master Kevin Padilla, since 1992 – Charlie has been surrounded by top-level athletes his entire career. In 2004 Charlie fought his way into a spot on the New York State Taekwondo Commission (NYSTC), an organization designed to mentor and sponsor top athletes for international competition. Here Charlie competed in numerous countries representing NY-USA during his bouts. Since his arrival to NYSTC, he defended his spot on the team throughout the remainder of his career as a fighter.
Simultaneously, Charlie served as an instructor at Padilla’s Sport Taekwondo School, where he taught Traditional & Olympic Taekwondo, Cardio Kickboxing, Boxing and mentored a number of elite junior athletes. While there, he developed a love for coaching and formed a unique style, drawing from years of training and applying his fighter’s mentality.
After a 10-year career in the corporate security world, he returned to his passion. Currently based in NY Metro Area – Charlie is the owner/operator of two CKO Kickboxing Clubs located in Bayonne and Downtown Jersey City. Charlie wears several hats, but his favorite is that of a fitness coach and motivator. Charlie has a fun but no-nonsense approach to supporting his member’s goals. Whether you’re aiming to improve your striking technique, build lean muscle or improve your overall wellness – Charlie can certainly get you there.
Charlie tries to instill a fighter’s mentality within all of his clients, because whether you’re in the ring or not – if you refuse to quit on yourself and continue to fight, there’s no limit to what you can achieve.
